This was an advertising limerick that I wrote in 2008 to the tune of Jingle Bells.

I always remember it fondly, and bring out this time of the year.

I just remembered something I should share, that's quite funny.

A guy text me yesterday, asking if I'd do a handjob for him for .... get this .... $20!!!!!!!!!!

I laughed at first and told him no way, but then INSPIRATION STRUCK!

I text him back saying, sure, but I'll give you a freebie instead, in return for you cleaning up after my cats for a week.... LMAO

Well, he came back to me, and said, Yeah Alright! Can I do it naked? and I'm trying not to snicker....

So I text him back, trying not to laugh, saying, Great, the only thing is, I have quite a few cats - I live in a 4 story townhouse in the inner west, it's huge and good priced for the location but has a weird seperated layout and the room is like a king size play room, with 3 giant kitty litter boxes, that you'll have to clean including the litter boxes, but sure you can clean naked if you want.... lol!

Well needless to say... he text back... saying "I think I'll pass, but if you ever want a quick $20, text me"

Jebus Christ, people really do expect it all handed to them on a platter don't they? A little bit of hard work, and he'd have got a freebie and saved himself $20 and there's no way I'd give it to him for $20 anyway, he wouldn't even get that at Kings X LOL

Well, it's Thursday again and my day is advancing as per usual.

One of the reasons I enjoy being self employed, is that I can have my day how I want it to be.

So, I woke up this morning, went downstairs, cleaned up my living room and did the dishes, then cooked myself some canned chicken soup as well as a serving of lemon sorbet and frozen blue-berry danish, washed down with some ice cold coke. Yummy.

Then I went back upstairs, and started watching stargate on my laptop curled up in bed. All the whilst just waiting for any phone calls that might come in that would signify I might be getting laid today. Great hey? Definitly.

I've been working on my website and have designed some nifty desktop wallpapers. I think they're quite cool. Is it too pretensious to be using a photo of yourself as your desktop wall paper? I had to try it out of course...

Oh Yeah, I'm also working on my campaign for Australian Escort of the year. I'd definitly love to win it if I can. There's no definite though, unless all of you reading go and vote for me but I can try my damned hardest can't I?

Christmas is fast approaching and if it's a nice day, I will spend it at the beach. Maybe Bondi or on the Central Coast.

Well, that's all for now, time to get back to my lovely day of doing fuck all lol

So.

Today, whilst in a booking, I got to thinking.

There is truly an art to what I do.

It's a combination of acrobatics, and quick thinking and letting yourself go in the moment .

To let yourself be, whatever you want to be at that moment, and enjoy the mutual pleasure.

As well as the good stuff, there's also the "bad stuff" that you realise you've built up an intolerance to throughout the course of your career as an escort.

For example. Whilst sucking my clients cock, I stubbed my toe on the hotel room side table.

Now I am the biggest sook in the world. Seriously!

In any other situation, I would scream, cry and in that moment of pain want to kill whatever had caused me such agony.

Did I though? scream? cry? kill the side table? Nope. I carried on sucking cock. Now THAT'S what I call Multi Talented!

To be able to suck cock and still enjoy it, whilst someone is scratching your bits up as if they were a bear in heat ... or better still biting at your lips and clit as if they hadn't eaten for a month, is truly an admirable talent.

And then there were the acrobatics...

To be able to sustain a half hour long blow job, to be able to fuck for an hour straight, you need to build up your stamania.

Before starting this, I probably wouldn't have lasted long myself, but hey do any of your partners last long? Can they keep you on the edge of an orgasm for an hour straight? or lean on their arms for an hour whilst sucking your cock? doubt it. It's aquired strength lol

To know where to place your body, without headbutting a client and knocking them out.... or fall on them and sqish them or to give a BJ without biting the cock off, it can become an art form.

The Art Of Being an Escort is the Art of providing true pleasure to your partner, enjoying some yourself and being able to pro-long the experience so that they get what they paid for - blissful relief and relaxation and some company to boot.

Jayde

What do I like about Summer in Australia?

Air Conditioning, Slurpees, The occasional trip to the beach, Sun Tans, The bright sunny days.

What don't I like about Summer in Australia?

Gee the list is nearly as long as my arm! lol

I hate the way it makes a person sweat, I hate that extreme inner tiredness where you don't feel like lifting a finger and become a lazy starfish on the couch. The way it burns your skin even if you don't burn easily you're still going to get a nasty burn at some point.

Then when the air conditioning breaks down or god forbid you don't have any, OMG! Can we say un-productivly unbearable?

I wish we could enjoy summer. I truly do. But I think Producivity goes out the window and even if people's dispositions are sunnier, after a few days of the January or February sun, I think everyone's ready to hibernate to the antartic or go somewhat nuts.

Is there anywhere on earth, with 25 degree celcius days or close year round?

I think those in the North suffer the reverse, where the snow and cold stop them dead in their tracks, and we suffer the Sun.

It's amazing, with this heat or the extremities where it might burn one day and piss down with rain the next, that we get anything done in this country.

I think, without the invention of Air Conditioning & migration, that Australian's may have died out - because who wants to fuck and pro create in 40 degree heat?

This is why a fan or cooler or air conditioner is gold to an Escort.

But, hey, that's my thoughts for the day

Jayde